


The Freakiest Friday

by clotpolesonly



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - No Hale Fire (Teen Wolf), Bodyswap, Derek Hale is So Done, Established Relationship, Humor, M/M, Magical Stiles Stilinski, Spell Failure
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-25
Updated: 2020-09-25
Packaged: 2021-03-07 20:08:07
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 865
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26653423
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/clotpolesonly/pseuds/clotpolesonly
Summary: Derek rubbed at his aching eyes, heaved a sigh, and said, “Will someone tell me what the fuck is happening here?”“I’m Laura,” Stiles declared, “and I’m gonna murder Stiles, that’s what happening.”That cleared up exactly nothing. It actually made things even more confusing, honestly.
Relationships: Derek Hale/Stiles Stilinski
Comments: 33
Kudos: 397
Collections: Laura Hale Appreciation Week 2020





	The Freakiest Friday

**Author's Note:**

> at p1013's request, because there aren't nearly enough bodyswaps for people that _aren't_ a couple and we're all collectively sleeping on the pure chaotic comedic potential, i'm just saying

Derek yawned and sleepily poked at the coffeemaker until it did what it was supposed to do. He didn’t normally go in for all-nighters, but last night he had deemed powering through another section of his dissertation to be more important than sleep. He was already regretting that decision. He had a class to TA later that day and his brain was guaranteed to be completely offline and useless, coffee or no. He definitely still wanted the coffee, though.

His daze was rudely shattered by the thump that was, presumably, Stiles flailing himself out of bed and onto the floor upstairs. It was earlier than usual—Stiles was really more of a lunch for breakfast kind of guy—and Derek was already mourning the lost peace and quiet. Half the reason he had moved out of the pack house where he’d grown up was because he had been tired of Laura waking him up at stupid-o’clock with her chirpy, morning person existence. His and Stiles’ relationship only worked as well as it did because they were _both_ night owls by nature.

So for Stiles to come stumbling down the spiral staircase at 7am was, frankly, unheard of. If Derek hadn’t been too exhausted to function, he might’ve been worried. As it was, he just caught Stiles before he hit the floor and pulled him in close on reflex.

He was going for a kiss, like he’d given Stiles literally every morning for the last year. But, unlike every morning for the last year, his boyfriend let out an ungodly loud yelp and shoved himself out of Derek’s arms. He _did_ hit the floor this time, his face the perfect picture of horror, and Derek blinked down at him uncomprehendingly.

Before Derek could formulate a question to ask, there came the pounding of heavy footsteps on the stairs up to the loft. The door clanged open to reveal his sister, red-faced and panting, barefoot and still in her pajamas.

_“Don’t do it, that’s not me!”_

Derek blinked at her too. “...What?”

Scrambling to his feet, Stiles pointed an extremely accusatory finger at Laura and said, “What the _fuck_ did you do, you little cretin?”

“I didn’t do it on purpose! I was trying to do a thing, okay? A magic thing, for Deaton—okay, maybe not _for_ Deaton, but it was Deaton’s book, at least, and I was just trying to—”

“ _Stiles,_ ” Stiles growled, which didn’t make any sense.

“I’m gonna fix it!” Laura cried, hands up in surrender. “I got here as fast as I could, I swear. I literally ran here—and, wow, you guys can run really fast, I never realized exactly how fast, but _jeez_ —and I would’ve been here sooner if I could’ve figured out how the full shift worked, but also you usually come out of that shift naked and I figured you probably wouldn’t want me seeing that, so I didn’t—”

“You’re fucking right I wouldn’t, don’t you _dare!_ ”

The coffeemaker beeped and, damn it, Derek was too tired for all of this. He rubbed at his aching eyes, heaved a sigh, and said, “Will someone tell me what the _fuck_ is happening here?”

“I’m Laura,” Stiles declared, “and I’m gonna murder Stiles, that’s what happening.”

That cleared up exactly nothing. It actually made things even more confusing, honestly.

Laura—not Laura?—ran fingers through her mess of a bedhead and groaned, “I fucked up a spell and it pulled a _Freaky Friday_ on me. Please don’t kill me before I fix it.”

“Oh, you’re gonna fix it,” Stiles—wait, _Laura??_ —said. “And _then_ I’m gonna kill you.”

“You know that’s not much of an incentive, right?” Laura—no, _Stiles_ —pointed out. “If you’re gonna kill me as soon as we get switched back, then, really, that means that it’s in my best interests to _not_ switch us back at all.”

“I swear on all that is holy, Stiles, I just almost got _kissed_ by my fucking _brother,_ if you do not—”

“Oh my god, of _course_ I’m gonna fucking switch us back, Laura, do you think I want your brother kissing anybody besides _me?_ I—”

“Will both of you just _shut up!_ ”

Derek’s shout was met with a very affronted silence, but he didn’t care. He took the opportunity to finally pour himself some fucking coffee, throwing it back immediately despite how much it burned. Then he slammed the mug down onto the counter, turned to face his sister and boyfriend, and took a deep breath.

“Let me get this straight. You—” He pointed at Laura’s body. “—are Stiles. You performed some unauthorized, probably under-prepared-for spell out of a book you stole from Deaton. This botched spell made you magically swap bodies with—” He pointed at Stiles’ body. “—you, Laura. Do I have that right?”

Laura crossed Stiles’ arms across her (his?) chest and made a bratty face that Derek would recognize as her on _any_ body. That was more convincing than any amount of verbal explanation. The expression on Laura’s face, too, was a blend of contrite and evasive that was distinctly and unmistakably _Stiles._

“This is disturbing on so many levels,” Derek muttered. “I’m calling Deaton.”

**Author's Note:**

> [rebloggable on tumblr!](https://clotpolesonly.tumblr.com/post/630272213078163456/the-freakiest-friday)


End file.
